Day by Day

Yesterday Kelly and Nicki came over to play in the Hairry Strawberry Band with Keera and Connor.  They used a barbie guitar, a flute and Connor was the rapper.  Kelly and Nicki made a shirt for Keera that says, "Hairry Strawberry" and has a picture of a strawberry on it.  They created their own songs and sang for about a half an hour.  Then they all took off to Panera ("Mom, do you have any money?") for lunch and the pet store to take out a dog to pet.  I wished we had taped the Hairry Strawberry experience, but it will go down in the memory banks of all!

Katie had a dream last night that all of her cousins on the Reed side were playing a game and Travis was there.  He said he had to go.  He had wings and his spirit left the circle of cousins.  I was amazed that she had that dream.  I also wish I could dream of people who have passed away.  I have never even seen my own mother in a dream. 

rush, rush, buy, wrap, etc...been writing about it.... - my gift - a few from the family but the best one of all......cooking Christmas meal with Bob and the kids playing the game "trouble" five feet from me at the kitchen island.  The laughs, the frustrations, the comments, the competition.....my family-the best gift of all!!!!

Brendan told me that he was talking to Keera.  Keera said she got him three presents and Brendan said he didn't get her one yet.  Her response was, "That's okay Christmas isn't about gifts.  It is about family, peace and love." 

So every Christmas season I say the same thing....I am not going to get stressed because I just want to enjoy my family and people.  I am not going to worry about shopping for everything.  I am not going to freak out about what to bake, cookies to make, decorations, etc. And every season I kind of fall into the same trap.  This season I think I was under control until we had the devastating news of our nephew passing away.  Then all heck broke loose and it became two weeks of running around to get everything in, get ready for a trip, etc.  I am glad I am stopping now and I hope I can put the next four days into perspective.....time stopped last weekend and we celebrated people....I have to remember it isn't about who gets what for Christmas and balancing the gifts, money, paying the bills, etc.  That is all going to happen no matter what every year.  But, it is about the moments and connections with people every year.  It is about the laughing...

If you don't watch "The Middle", you should.   I love that show...it is sooo my family. Sometimes when we are all together (which isn't that often-we do have a college age son who is not around much, even though he is not away at college), I pull myself out of the conversation going on (which is always like 3 or more at one time-good luck talking in this family...Keera is quite frustrated with that at times) and I think-we should really be a sit com.  We wouldn't even need a writer...just give us one topic a week and film us for 1/2 hour-we would make good money and we all actually look alike.

Keera last night - "Mommy, when you first met Daddy how handsome was he?" Mommy - "As handsome as he is now."

If it wasn't for the saddest loss I have felt in years, this past weekend would have been the perfect weekend. During the service, we sat Bob, me, Bren, Connor, Katie, Keera.  (Keep in mind Brendan had said to me, "I can't go to SC" because he didn't think he could handle it, and I said "we will do this together, cause I don't think I can do it either.")  I was worried Keera might get antsy at the end so I said to Brendan, "Can you switch with Keera?" Brendan would normally say, "Of course."  He is so helpful with Keera.  However, this time he said, "She's fine."  During the service, B (what Connor calls him), finally broke down.  I looked up and this giant, strong, young man was allowing his emotions to be felt.  I put my arm around him and he did the same and I just held him during the rest of that time.  And he held back like he was a young boy being taken care of.  He is so kind and sensitive, but doesn't s...

Katie looks so darn cute in her Sheehan Freshmen basketball uniform.  We have only been able to see one out of three games so far because two were away, but she is doing good.  I think she loves being part of a team.  I am proud of her for trying out!  We were at mass on Sunday with all of the other confirmation candidates and at the sign of the peace, this boy (dressed nice with tie, etc) turned around and said peace be with you Katie.  Something about the way he said it struck a new mother emotion in me.  I thought he was kind of cute, but when I said that to Katie later, she made a look of disgust.  Regardless of whether he was or not, this boy had a smile on his face and he said my Katie's name.....what is to come?  I can't wait to see the look of someone as they look at Katie with caring and interest (not too much interest until she is old enough).  I guess I am saying that Katie is beautiful and a good person, as are my other children...

This is rambling, but some sort of release of feelings for me.... A mellow, at times very sad, feeling has stayed with me for almost two weeks now.  This weekend is going to be a mix of emotions that most of us do not want to ever have to visit, but we do as we go through life.  That feeling of being robbed of someone so young and so talented and yet the thought of knowing that God has a plan and takes who he needs, when he needs them.  But the struggle of how it is at human hands that someone is taken just doesn't seem right or just. At the same time of grief and sadness (the anticipation of what is coming....an overload of feelings) there is a hope that being with family members (especially my own, which Ican't even get all in the same room because of our busy lives) and sharing feelings, emotions....there will be crying and sadness, there will be smiles and joy in the celebration of a life.  There are times in the last week of knowing this was coming that I ha...

He is a mystery to me.  He went gung ho on making Brendan's room but with little time now that he is working has not returned up there at all.  He took his nephew's death quietly and thoughtfully, thinking of every possible angle that I could/would not. He has the patience of a saint with four kids, me and everything else that goes on. He loves his sports...coaching them, playing them, figuring numbers and strategies. He is careful with money and does not require a lot, although he does seem to like tv's. He is playful at times, especially enjoying Katie's humor at her age. He can turn Keera from a sour puss to an angel in minutes. He cares deeply for things, but doesn't wear his feelings on his sleeve. He is soooo smart. He is soooo kind. He is soooo friendly; will talk to anyone and make friends in seconds. He does not hold grudges; he does not anger often or for useless reasons. He is at peace with himself and life. He is humble. He is realistic. ...

Yesterday was a big day....driving (Connor), confession....Keera is making her first holy communion this Spring, so we are enrolled in religious education and yesterday was her first confession.  There were a lot of people there and we had to wait an hour.  Even though the priest talked most of the time and the glass is supposed to be sound proof, you can still hear when you are waiting.  At a certain point, this sweet little voice came on strong, reading her act of contrition....something inside of me just melted.  So sweet and innocent....this is the beginning for her....and then my thoughts went slightly sad as I pictured all of my kids in this position and even more so, Travis for his first confession.  Little did he know he would become a voice piece for Jesus and basically sacrifice his life to that.  I allowed my thoughts to go there because grief will only come one thought at a time when it hits....been there, done that.....then I let my mind w...

Connor turned 16 yesterday, so we were at the DMV, bright and early...before it opened.  This would be one of our two strong willed children.  He passed and on the way home I thought I would give him the opportunity to try it out.  I stopped close to home so he could take the wheel and at first he didn't want to (what????  he has been studying for the test for a year and telling me on the 10th we were going to DMV, even if I had to take a day off-lol).  He reluctantly took the wheel and did a nice job, but then he had the feel for it and wanted to keep going.  Then later he wanted to drive again and then at night he even wanted to drive-said no to that one.  It's his first day for gosh sake...Rome wasn't conquered in a day.  I have to admit, I can't believe I am doing this 4 times...what was I thinking?  He starts driving school Tuesday, so once they get him on the road, it will be a little less stressful (I remember from Brendan), but these ...

I really have slacked off on the blogging.....I missed an important one before Thanksgiving....Katie and I went to the midnight opening of Twilight...yes it was a school night and yes, we both went to school the next day on time....it was so rebellious and fun to do it. I find there are less and less moments Katie and I share these days....she has to play the adolescent, freshmen in high school role and I play the overbearing mom role....plus I didn't live through having a mom, so I have no example on how to deal with these times from either side, so I am kind of making it up as I go along....but this night, we were united.  It was actually really fun and I couldn't believe how many people at work said to me, "what a good mom", when I told them.  I thought for sure they would be saying to themselves, "what an awful mom to be taking her daughter to a midnight movie on a school night", but it was the opposite.  I didn't even think of it that way because ...

Keera's school journal entries came home today....they do a lot of writing. Most of it reminds me of what a six year old should and is writing, but then there are those entries that are just so "keera" like. For example....one whole page was devoted to what she had done one Saturday and then at the very bottom it said, "My sister went looking for a homecoming dress.  It was too short."  (Great....I'm sure her teacher laughed over that one.) Then there was the Thanksgiving one, which got everything perfectly right...with a little personal editing.  "On Thanksgiving my cousins and I played football.  It ws girls vs boys.  The boys won that because every one on the girl team was bad except me.  I kept getting hurt.  I was the only one who got the goals on the girls team."  (She is right...she is the only one who scored).  The Halloween entry states, "My mother stole some candy from my brother."  Accurate, but embarassing. And the ...

I think Brendan has found his calling.  He started working at Masonic home and hospital as a dishwasher.  Now they have moved and trained him to be a server in the dementia ward.  He really likes it.  He has had 3 or 4 women tell him he has a beautiful smile.  He had a visitor come up to him and tell him that his parents (who are both residents there) talk about Brendan all the time and they love him.  He tells stories of the patients and how he talks to them, smiling and laughing as he tells them. I truly think he has found his calling.  There are not many 18 year olds who can feel comfortable with the elderly, and especially dementia (there aren't many adults who can do that either).  He is floundering about his future and I told him go with his strengths...people are his strength.  He doesn't have a career yet, but he is already making a difference in people's lives.  His friendly, calm caring manner reminds me of some people I know...

Connor is on a baking roll....he goes through these fads of really getting into things and then all of a sudden dropping them...(reminds me of my Uncle Ken).  For example, about a year ago he was into drawing.  He was actually taking photographs of people, drawing them and giving them as gifts, or in some cases selling them to people-he was that good. Now it is cakes.  He is totally into this fondant stuff.....personally, I am not crazy about it, but he loves working with it and it does look like a professional cake when he uses it.  He made Tracey a snow/xmas tree decorated birthday cake.  He made a girl at school a volleyball (yes with a half volleyball shape on it) because she made all state and last night he just whipped up some red velvet cupcakes with cream cheese. I told him I was making a cake for a friend and could I use the mix in the cupboard.  He said, "you are making a cheesey box cake"?  Ok wise guy...time to cut off your finances for...

Connor will be 16 Saturday.  We are up bright and early to go get his driving permit. Keera will be 7 next Thursday.  My December babies.  Two warm gifts during one of the coldest, busiest months of the year.  Go out and change the world for the better....make a difference.....be good to people.

These are just random thoughts: Travis Eiler - Our 23 year old nephew was doing missionary work in Kazakstan and was killed. He was the ring bearer in our wedding.  He was the playmate for my kids on many a trip to Myrtle Beach, Maine, Ohio.  He came and visited us twice, once for two weeks, once for one with all of the cousins.  He drove the second time right from getting out of college with his brothers to our house...well into the night and getting lost, etc.  He kept all the cousins happy with his family games...doing things that cost money were not his priority but having family time was.  When he first visited we practiced baseball because he didn't make the high school team and he was still so enamored with Bob and all of his baseball loves.  But one day when he was here in that two week period, he came with me for my daily jog.  He didn't make it too far that day but he didn't give up.  The next fall he went out for cross country at...