My father
So, I want to remember this years from now and have it for my children and grandchildren......I sat with my father recently and by accident ended up in a discussion of his family.....wow I wish he would write a book on his life.
My Dad is the most knowledgeable, kind and loving person. He has his faults, and he is the one who will tell you all about them, but as with all of us, the things that he doesn't like about himself come from difficult times when he had to rely on survival skills.
What I remember of my Dad....playing basketball, tennis and softball with us on his off working times (which was tough when he worked 3 jobs at once). Helping him with his wood projects or sorting out canceled checks that needed to be put away. Helping him at his job at the Herald, putting inserts in papers. Being proud of all the writing he has done in his life. Collecting all of his humorous columns as a Christmas present for him and learning how well this man can write and the humor he has. Taking us to really neat placesfor vacations-Montreal, Washington D.C., Toronto, Ireland. Bicycling with him as a 8-10 year old, crazy places like up route 68. He taught me what it meant to be tough and hold on. There have certainly been times when I haven't liked everything about my Dad, but that is called sorting through the image that your parent isn't perfect, even though you think he is. I remember going to church with him at times when I was younger. I remember how much fun he was in the swimming pool. I remember watching him go through some incredible physical pain and surgeries in order to live a quality life while he is here. For all that his life entails, I rarely hear him complain or grumble. He is truly a good man.
So here is what I learned of his life when we talked. He went into the seminary as a Junior in high school, despite his parents not really wanting him to. He lived away from home those last two years of high school and the next two years before transfering to St. John Fisher. He lived in dorms with other men who were seeking out the life long journey of devoting themselves to Jesus. He had a normal education and much more religion than any of us at that age. I guess it was equivalent to going to a Catholic high school and then some-living there, etc. I am sure his mother (as I can feel now of my two sons) was sad that he was not home. My grandmother had a hard life in that her only daughter was under strong emotional strife due to an illness she could not control. Not only had my grandmother lost her daughter at that point, but she probably felt as though she lost her son, to a degree, maybe the one who kept her happy and sane. My father then went on searching for his desire in the army. How strange for someone to go from a life with God to a life in the military. It is so obvious the inner searching he must have been feeling. At some point, God put someone in his path, who would change his life around.....my mother. My parents had their marital issues, as all do, but I know in my heart that they really loved each other. My father makes it sound as though my mother was the end all and the be all of his world. I believe she was his answer and I am sure if she were around today, she would tell me he was hers too. Dad went on to tell little stories of people he knew in the seminary and of his uncles/father. What an intersting family. One was a priest, but so smart that my grandfather felt the church took him from being what he could have....a fear that my grandfather had for my own father (as Dad learned later in life from Grandpa). One was a lawyer who ended up becoming dependent on something that led to no good. One was my grandfather, a smart and driven man who only had an 8th grade education and yet who obviously knew how to work, save and make a life for himself....including being a personable man that everyone remembered and talked to. The last uncle was someone who Dad admired the most in that he was content with everything. He didn't accomplish much, but he was happy with what he had and Dad remembers being drawn to that. Families are funny things and knowing where we come from is so important in answering things we want to know about ourselves.
My time with my father is precious now......no more precious than it was when I was little and riding bikes with him or playing basketball with him, but just more appreciated now. I want to soak up every moment that I can, while I can, which isn't easy when our lives are soooo busy. But I will try to continue to learn more about him past and present for he is half of who I am. Love ya Da
My Dad is the most knowledgeable, kind and loving person. He has his faults, and he is the one who will tell you all about them, but as with all of us, the things that he doesn't like about himself come from difficult times when he had to rely on survival skills.
What I remember of my Dad....playing basketball, tennis and softball with us on his off working times (which was tough when he worked 3 jobs at once). Helping him with his wood projects or sorting out canceled checks that needed to be put away. Helping him at his job at the Herald, putting inserts in papers. Being proud of all the writing he has done in his life. Collecting all of his humorous columns as a Christmas present for him and learning how well this man can write and the humor he has. Taking us to really neat placesfor vacations-Montreal, Washington D.C., Toronto, Ireland. Bicycling with him as a 8-10 year old, crazy places like up route 68. He taught me what it meant to be tough and hold on. There have certainly been times when I haven't liked everything about my Dad, but that is called sorting through the image that your parent isn't perfect, even though you think he is. I remember going to church with him at times when I was younger. I remember how much fun he was in the swimming pool. I remember watching him go through some incredible physical pain and surgeries in order to live a quality life while he is here. For all that his life entails, I rarely hear him complain or grumble. He is truly a good man.
So here is what I learned of his life when we talked. He went into the seminary as a Junior in high school, despite his parents not really wanting him to. He lived away from home those last two years of high school and the next two years before transfering to St. John Fisher. He lived in dorms with other men who were seeking out the life long journey of devoting themselves to Jesus. He had a normal education and much more religion than any of us at that age. I guess it was equivalent to going to a Catholic high school and then some-living there, etc. I am sure his mother (as I can feel now of my two sons) was sad that he was not home. My grandmother had a hard life in that her only daughter was under strong emotional strife due to an illness she could not control. Not only had my grandmother lost her daughter at that point, but she probably felt as though she lost her son, to a degree, maybe the one who kept her happy and sane. My father then went on searching for his desire in the army. How strange for someone to go from a life with God to a life in the military. It is so obvious the inner searching he must have been feeling. At some point, God put someone in his path, who would change his life around.....my mother. My parents had their marital issues, as all do, but I know in my heart that they really loved each other. My father makes it sound as though my mother was the end all and the be all of his world. I believe she was his answer and I am sure if she were around today, she would tell me he was hers too. Dad went on to tell little stories of people he knew in the seminary and of his uncles/father. What an intersting family. One was a priest, but so smart that my grandfather felt the church took him from being what he could have....a fear that my grandfather had for my own father (as Dad learned later in life from Grandpa). One was a lawyer who ended up becoming dependent on something that led to no good. One was my grandfather, a smart and driven man who only had an 8th grade education and yet who obviously knew how to work, save and make a life for himself....including being a personable man that everyone remembered and talked to. The last uncle was someone who Dad admired the most in that he was content with everything. He didn't accomplish much, but he was happy with what he had and Dad remembers being drawn to that. Families are funny things and knowing where we come from is so important in answering things we want to know about ourselves.
My time with my father is precious now......no more precious than it was when I was little and riding bikes with him or playing basketball with him, but just more appreciated now. I want to soak up every moment that I can, while I can, which isn't easy when our lives are soooo busy. But I will try to continue to learn more about him past and present for he is half of who I am. Love ya Da
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