Day by Day

I don't know if it is midlife or life changing events but it seems as though I bounce back and forth from a state of feeling so content with all that life offers to feeling so afraid that I will lose everything in a minute.  I think of being in the second half of my life which is so empowering and yet scary and so final.  I keep telling myself the important statements when I am in that place...."live today as if it is the only day you have; enjoy everything and everyone".....or "look at all the wonderful things to come with the base that is in place"....or "feel relieved that things may be more "settled" in the years to come." It is a weird feeling....one that probably comes in fall more so than other seasons...the changing of trees and temperatures and so shedding of what is known and comfortable to await the new in the Spring.

We had to set up a follow up neurology appointment for Connor.  It was originally back in May, but was postponed twice by us because of how busy those months were with school (for everyone), proms, work, other more necessary appointments, etc. We ended up making it today, July 17th.  At first I could not understand why they set it up with no one that Connor had been treated by.  It was some resident in a the neurology clinic.  I thought going into it that this person would know nothing about what happened, other than the notes in the computer.  We would go in; he would ask how he was doing, check vitals and we would leave. I was wrong and I did not expect the feel the feelings that I felt when I went in.  As we sat in the waiting room, a young boy, about Connor's age, was wheeled in by his sibling, it looked like.  This boy ended up sitting in front of me and I couldn't help but feel, wow, this could still be Connor.  The boy obviously had ner...

I am starting to believe more and more that when positive thoughts come into our minds, we are meant to act on them.  Nothing bad can come of good.  Why would a thought just pop into our heads, unless it was meant to do something for someone?  Call someone or text someone you haven't seen in awhile.  Drop a coffee off or bake something for someone.  Send some fruit or flowers to someone who has done something nice for you or just to someone because of who they are.  Write a nice note and leave it on a windshield or I have heard some people pay for the coffee for the car behind them in a drive through.  I will have to try that one.  You never know what you can do for someone else (that you know or don't know).

This will be the first year in twenty years without an official Easter Bunny....that's a pretty long run actually.  And yet they still want their baskets hidden (Bob's job-he hides them) and they still want candy, for the most part.  We will still go to.....yes.....the China Buffet...it has become a tradition that our kids will not let go away.  We always split Thanksgiving and Christmas as far as houses go, but Easter was our "get out and do a buffet" holiday.  We started classy and expensive....then one year we decided to do the all you can eat China Buffet.  Well, the kids liked it so much, it lives on.  It is a good variety of foods. I don't think they celebrate Easter in China.

I have skipped blogging from time to time, but this time I just can't get myself writing.  I have only blogged about three times this year.  There is so much I would like to write down so I can read it years from now and yet it is so fresh and new that I cannot get myself to write it down. So I think I will go to superficial stuff for now...good memories in the making.  Here are some of the things we did during Spring vacation this year:  It started with Keera having a list of what she wanted to do during the week.  We added some and pretty much accomplished almost all of them.  We drew and colored a mural of Yalesville (including the VEt down the road, Subway and the Laundry shop); we went to the beach; we went to Barnes and Noble (and bought cheesecake there too).  Fun stuff.  The two books I am currently reading are also on here...shout out to Aunt K. for the one book about Enough and the I picked up the other one today...very similar in natu...

I wish I had blogged every day for the last two and a half months because a lot of things have happened that are not coincidences.  I am going to at least start catching the ones I can. The situation is that for the last three weeks we have known we needed to have a ramp for Connor on March 15th.  Two weeks ago Bob started a conversation with a builder in town, who we know through Bob's coaching in the little league, and the town youth service department to help direct us.  It took two weeks for the process of having the guy out here; having him measure and getting us an estimate.  In the meantime, I kept kind of nudging Bob, which I felt bad about because he was trying, but I was nervous about it getting done.  He decided to contact someone from the facebook page that said they have a ramp they used when his wife passed away.  He is here in town and he would let us have it.  It has been in his garage.  So Bob started to pursue that by measuring...

My goal this year was to try to blog a little bit each day.  That was kind of shot to he** by Jan. 2nd when everything went down.  Tonight for the first time since Jan. 2nd, I wanted to blog.  I think I need to start processing things in my mind and someday I want this to be something Connor can look back on....maybe read to see things from a different perspective-his mothers.  I think I will just throw things down to help me process everything. The boy/young man who has been unable to move for two weeks trying so hard to talk around the breathing tube.....saying sentences at a time while I try to catch up to every syllable he is pronouncing.  He goes on and on as if I can see as clearly as he is thinking in his mind.  He has started spelling words out now, which is much easier.  Today he spelled out trash.  What on earth would he be thinking about trash for....he wanted to throw his breathing tube in the trash.  Yes, Connor, when you are d...